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Stressed, depressed & exhausted 👍
My fatigue is immense. My mood is pretty damn low, purely because I can’t take a breather from NHS. Even if I stop trying to get my notes, I have a blood test in two days, a GP appt a week later, & am fretting about the referral. I’m overwhelmed & exhausted…this is why I avoid the NHS as much as possible, because it just breaks me. Autie brain + medical ptsd = absolutely fucked.
Nothing big has happened w/ the NHS, but autism doesn’t care about that. Phoned up the GP surgery to check our notes were printed before heading in to a) collect them & b) get our stack of notes scanned onto the system whilst we wait. And they haven’t been done, plus receptionist now saying they need to get Dr Zs permission. She said they’ll “hopefully” be done by the end of today. This has gone from being told they’d be there to pick up Monday morning (last Friday), to being told on Monday morning they’d be ready Monday evening & they’d call us to let us know (they didn’t, they weren’t), & now the story’s changed again.
The deadline constantly shifting plus staff repeatedly lying is a huge autie trigger, I can’t fucking deal when a plan gets changed 🙄
Went into the GP surgery to fill in a form for an online service where you can make appts & see some of your notes. Whaddaya know, literally an hour after we signed up for this, the surgery rang saying my notes had been printed & were ready to collect 😂
We have them now, they’re actually way better than we expected…there’s a lot of detail, & no blaming of all my issues on MH like how the last dr did. There’s a decent chunk on seizures, CCI, & admittance that she doesn’t know anything about the condition. Muuuch better than I expected 😌
Usually these are only a paragraph long ime, so she did go above & beyond. I’m even happy with it being titled epilepsy, as it shows she’s taking my seizures seriously & mh is no longer being (repeatedly 🙄) blamed. There’s misgendering, I corrected the easy ones…but the NHS do nothing but misgender me, so…
After being at the surgery I was feeling very autie scrambled.
I felt a ‘need’ for a soft stim (I hadn’t realised/thought about the fact I have different stimming needs before). So we went to a shop & I found the PERFECT soft stim mouse, who we’ve named Humphrey.
Lyle said as soon as I found him & began stimming, my whole outlook changed & I seemed much happier…so weird because I had 2 other fidget stims on me, but my brain was screaming “SOFT!!!” 😂
We had a picnic on the canal. Lyle bought mango slices so I could use the tub as a cup, because the bottle was way too heavy for me to manage 😂 When we got back we took Bandit to the park for 15mins, & now I’m in bed utterly exhausted!!
Bonus photos from the last few days.